Mayo on sandwiches

Theory: mayonnaise on a sandwich acts as a sort of protective barrier for the bread, keeping it from becoming soggy.

It also adds a new level of deliciousness. So in this way, it's like a miracle spread.

scented candles and republicans

Theory: they keep the scented candles in the laundry aisle of the grocery store, instead of the cleaning products aisle. that's because your house smelling nice is a really republican thing to do; it's not the same as cleaning your house, it's just making your house appear clean. which is what really matters.